I saw this post on another blog and it reminded me about a conversation I had over dinner last night - then I saw this video...
A couple years ago I was coerced into blogging by a dear friend. This friend has since tried to get me to 'twitter' - I have resisted. I couldn't put my finger on why - until now.
Is Facebook, Myspace and Twitter causing us to create shallow acquaintances rather than real friends? I realize there is some benefit to these electronic means of communication - but really, do I need to know your every thought or every personal accomplishment? You really aren't that important to me. Really, you aren't. Sorry to burst your Narcissistic bubble.
Rachel, the author of the blog post that started me thinking said, "As our ability to easily interact with more people in more places increases, it’s easy for us to get spread too thin; to have many shallow relationships instead of a few solid relationships." I really agree with this thought.
Yeah, facebook has reconnected me with some folks I haven't seen or talked to in over 20 years - but, in reality - there was a reason I didn't talk or socialize with these folks. There is a reason most people choose to be 'friends' with others.
Do I really want to hang out with beer swilling, gang banging, dive bar visiting, cohabiting smokers that think a good night out is tossing back a keg and getting laid?
Absolutely not!
Why? Am I better than them? No. So why would I "friend" them - and then read about their latest conquest or how hung over they are - or how difficult it is to get a job. I do pray for them, but I could do that anyway - I should be doing that anyway.
Anyway, I digress, but the realization remains - should I have 219 facebook "friends" - are they really friends - some are - most aren't. Why are they called friends anyway? Just because some programmer (who probably is a huge introvert and has very few real life friends chooses to build his self esteem up by calling electronic acquaintances "friends") called them that... I don't know -
What if they were called something else? Electronic Buddies (EBs), Digital Communication partners (DCPs)... Think about it.
Rachel gives some really good advice: "The key to avoiding selfish and inane “conversation” is to not follow the people who offer it - and to not be one of those people yourself."
So, for that reason, I have decided to end my Facebook time - I won't be twittering it to all my virtual friends. I will resume calling my friends to communicate, sending a letter to them, going out to breakfast, lunch and dinner with them.
I find Facebook really dangerous lately - A friend (at dinner) told me (face to face) about a college counselor that found out one of her students passed away over facebook - what a way to find out! Today, many April Fools day jokes about wives being pregnant were posted on facebook. This caused people to respond with joy and happiness - it caused me to wonder why someone would announce such a wonderful event over a distant, non personal way. It really troubled me.
I guess it's no different than using the paper for an obituary or birth announcement - but the fact behind that communication is once you read about it you would call the party involved to give your condolences or congratulations - you wouldn't post an ad yourself saying "I'm so sorry". That would be silly...
Our society is becoming more and more narcissistic. More and more 'self' centered. More and more self absorbed. More and more LAZY. All of our communication is being reduced to one line updates on a rotating basis. That's wrong and it is troubling and I can no longer participate in that downward spiral.
Goodbye Facebook.
5 comments:
Hmmm. I'm sure you didn't expect a comment form me. ;)
Thanks for sharing. And I'm touched to be a "dear friend." ;)
Now to my disagreements. (Not that we ever disagree.) As far as really wanting to hang out with those people you talked about, I'd argue that maybe you should want to. Yes, keep praying for them, but I saw Jesus do more than just pray for sinners. He actually hung out with them. He spent time at those party's where they were cohabitating, smoking, and guzzling.
FB has actually helped me get in touch with people that I haven't talked with in a long time, not because I didn't want to, but our lives went different directions. They are not Christ followers and as a result of reconnection I now get to spend a whole weekend together with them in a month doing something we all love that we didn't even know we all loved now till we reconnected. I also have met 2 of 5 half-siblings I've never known, and have tried to find in the past, and only found them finally because of Facebook.
All I'm saying is, maybe you shouldn't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Are there dangerous sides to it as well? Of course. There were also dangerous arguments for...wait a minute. Something just occured to me. This COULD be an April Fools Day joke itself. It's just believable enough, I could now go either way on it. Guess I'd better check back tomorrow and be sure.
Oh, and one more thing from your "dear friend." (By the way, when did I try to get you to Twitter?) If I've called, left a voicemail, and then messaged you, and I can't get a phone call back, does that mean I'm not actually a "friend?" Or does that make the other party "lazy?" ;)
Love ya man!
Hmm. I guess you were for real. ;)
But how come you haven't deleted your profile completely?
Hope to talk to you soon. Gimme a call man. I'd still love to share and catch up. Lates.
Hey Bobby - haven't deleted it completely cuz I enjoy the games - I play scrabble and other word games. But I am done with checking it for "updates" and I won't be updating it either...
sorry for not calling you yet - but I am completely swamped with stuff... I will call though!
Love ya back!
Too much of anything, is not good.
Personally, there are not enough hours in a day to do all that has to be done because life just ain't that easy. I have friends I would love to see. I wish I could spend an afternoon with so many of them, but due to life's happenings we just lose touch.
If you drink (alcohol) and find you want more and more until you're out of control, it's time to back off the stuff. But if you can have a drink now and then and still go about life, doing all that you should and need, I see nothing wrong with it.
I agree that we can become absorbed in reading about other peoples lives and throw time away. In my opinion, some people throw time away by having movie screens in the car, by wearing ear phones 24/7, or by overworking. I don't get it, don't like, don't do it.
Basically, if it's the thing that "gets in the way", control it.
I totally enjoy anytime I'm around you and Dawn. I think you guys are the bomb. Unfortunately, our paths don't cross often....we lose touch. Unless that is, I read a comment from you on Facebook or your blog post. It makes me happy to know how life is going for you. Maybe that's all you can afford to give me. And If that's all I can get, I'm happy.
I'm going to have to disagree with you, Rick! Do you know how much time I'd spend on the phone trying to keep in touch with my friends in Nor Cal and So Cal??! For someone who is NOT a phone person, I'm so thankful for Facebook, by which I do maintain contact with them. I would hate to lose touch with people just because geographically I don't see them on a regular basis, or run out of minutes on my cell phone (had to decrease my plan- $$$!) I, however, have not fallen to the Twitter phenomenon- just can't get into it.
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